Lightbulb

a website related to uk.religion.christian

Posted by John Mitchell on 1997-05-13
Q: How many uk.religion.christian contributors does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A:- 

one to change the bulb,
  5 to explain why the way their church does it is more scriptural.
 23 to ponder whether the early church did it that way and why it 
    isn't mentioned in the Gospels or the pastoral epistles.
 35 to point out that the greek/hebrew/aramaic word didn't mean 
    'lightbulb' anyway, and any references to light bulbs are clearly 
    a later accretion to the text.
  7 to ask which version of the Bible the poster is using. 
 12 to explain that it was a myth anyway.
  1 to object to calling the Bible a myth.
 29 to post explaining what a myth really is.
  2 to each post a different version of the trinitarian lightbulb joke.
 28 to say "I prefer version 1"
 29 to say "I prefer version 2"
  4 to object that the trinity is not Biblical anyway.
127 to object that it is.
  1 to say we should be using environmentally friendly bulbs these days.
  1 to say that environmentally friendly bulbs cause as much pollution 
    overall as traditional incandescent bulbs.
 53 to disagree, asking for sources.
  1 to say we should still be using gas mantles, on the grounds that 
    mantles are prophetically sound, and most preachers produce more
    than enough gas to keep the average church illuminated all year round.
  3 to mildly object that preachers have a difficult enough task already.
  1 reply to explain that it was meant to be a joke.
129 to say "where was the smiley, then ?"
  1 reply to explain that (s)he really can't be expected to remember to
    add a smiley every time (s)he cracks a joke.
  1 person to say they use candles in their church.
 49 to reply saying so do they.
  1 person who hasn't actually been following the thread to post the
    trinitarian lightbulb joke again, but screw up the punchline.
113 people to correct him, gently, in love, considering themselves, 
    lest they also be tempted.
  8 people each to repost a list of all the religious lightbulb jokes 
    they know.
  1 person to agonize over the fact that if they post an article 
    objecting to the split infinitive 14 lines above they'll bring the 
    total number of articles in the thread to 666.....

sorry, couldn't resist, :-)